Critic #2: Jae
Jae thinks that the map lacks color primarily because of the only color that is mostly present is purple. She suggests that top probably fill in with yellow or the background color to make it more consistent. Also, she would suggest that readers who are looking at this map can accurately display my overall message for it. She does not understand what the fills mean at first.
I agree that the overall maps of both lacks color. Therefore, in order to add color, I had to change the message for my map and changed it to something more meaning and every state can be associated with it. Thus, I also added a color gradient scale to fill in with the states as a scale/reference. I also included a description of what the map is about.
revisions:
Critic #3: Kidus
Kidus thinks that again, my map needs more color because mostly purple is displayed on the map. He would suggest to use yellow and grey to portray the teams he scored less on. This would make the overall map a bit more informational, rather than highlighting only some of the states. Also, maybe change the line treatment to be more consistent to that of the visual model.
I have included a fill to every state given the data provided to me on the popularity he has on each given state. I included a description of what the fills mean and why this player is popular. I have changed the line treatment to make it more consistent to that of my typography model.
revisions:
Critic #1: Wobin
Wobin overall enjoys the revision version a lot better than the original version because I have incorporated fills and added a gradient for the states. One couple things to add is that instead of adding the words "more" and "fewer", he suggests to use actually numbers as a reference to the actuality of the sales. Also, the scale should be reflect 180 degrees its scales in general should be ascending.
Given the feedback, I have removed the gradient color bar in order to make my locations display more consistent with my color model. In my previous version, I would have colors that are not in my color palette because of the gradient blur. Thus, I have removed it and added actual numbers and a small scale to make it fit accordingly. With that in note, I have made scale from descending order from the top.
revisions:
Critic #2: Solayman
Solayman first suggests that the color does not really seem consistent with that of my color model. He understands that there are two colors that match in the gradient, but the colors in the middle does not match the model. Another thing to replace those colors is to have just just the yellow and purple color and included numeric values to represent each state so that it'lll match my color model. Maybe add the numbers within each state therefore, it'll look more 'finished'.
Again, I have removed the gradient because of the inconsistency with my color model. I have included a numeric scale and removed the colors that are not in my palette. However, by doing this, my locations display will be a bit more specific but lacks some color. (3 colors for my color model.)
revisions:
Critic #1: Connor
Overall, Connor thinks that the color model seems to be consistent to that of my locations graphic. He likes how the stats are filled with purple and with yellow line treatment to balance out the color palette. One thing Connor said to might consider is that I should fill in the void of the other states. He suggest that the line treatment and the visual language should be more consistent by adding icons right next to the header.
Given your suggestions and comments, I have decided to edit my message to convey from his games where he scored over 50, to his popularity in every state, measured by his jersey sales. I have also included icons to make my location design more consistent by have the same locations icon on my visual. I have also included a picture by the header.
revisions:
Critic #3: Robert
Again, the colors on my map does not seem consistent to that of my color model. There are some colors that match, but a lot of the different shades of the gradient color does not. He would suggest to somehow use only the two colors(yellow and purple) and somehow add it to my map. Also another suggestion that Robert made is that to create a thicker border for each state to make it more consistent to the map my visual language map and to also add icons.
I have made the outline of my map a it thicker in order to make my visual language that much the same in comparison to my model. I have decided not to add icons to my locations model because there was no icons on the map, but at the headers and titles.
revisions:
This display shows the relationship of location during Kobe Bryants career. Kobe has played more than 130 games with overs 40 points scored. 6 of those games, Kobe scored 60 or more points against their opponent. What I really wanted to highlight is his games where he scored 50 plus.
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How this element exploits the visual potential of numbers. In attempt to make create a consistent visual layout to my models, I have used the mapping graph/layout in effort to combine my visual content and display it onto my map. I included lines because it follows a consistent theme in my visual language model. Also, the color use for the line was slightly opaque compared to the guide marker.
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How this element emulates the models: I had used the same or similar font as the existing info graphic in my typography model. I used Myriad Pro, a similar looking font to use on the title. I have created a larger font to indicate the date. Currently, the year font is bigger than that of the description because I want the viewer to look at the year in which Kobe accomplished these milestones.
Critique 2 Message & Emulation
This display shows the relationship of location during Kobe Bryants career. Kobe has played more than 130 games with overs 40 points scored. 6 of those games, Kobe scored 60 or more points against their opponent. What I really wanted to highlight is his games where he scored 50 plus.
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How this element exploits the visual potential of numbers. In attempt to make create a consistent visual layout to my models, I have used the mapping graph/layout in effort to combine my visual content and display it onto my map. I included lines because it follows a consistent theme in my visual language model. Also, the color use for the line was slightly opaque compared to the guide marker.
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How this element emulates the models: I had used the same or similar font as the existing info graphic in my typography model. I used Myriad Pro, a similar looking font to use on the title. I have created a larger font to indicate the date. Currently, the year font is bigger than that of the description because I want the viewer to look at the year in which Kobe accomplished these milestones.
Location Elements & Critiques
Final Display Message & Emulation
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This is my location display. Location as a form of visual potential conveys the message of where something is, giving the context. It is the potential to communicate positions of things or places relative to each other in the world using position on a page, or on a screen. Location displays uses size, color, brightness, or amounts to encode location description. For my locations display, I have exploit this visual potential by using a geographic map of the United States and filled the states using my color model pallette to encode Kobe’s popularity in different states where the yellow represents more sales, purple representing moderate sales, and grey encoding lesser sales. I used yellow to represent more sales because the top selling Kobe Bryant jersey is the yellow one, then purple. The reason why I did not use a 2 color hue to more accurately represent each state was because of the inconsistency with my color model. I would have had more shades of yellow and purple than my model. I want to convey the message that although Kobe plays for the Los Angeles Lakers, his name is heard by fans across many states.
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To emulate my color model, I have used purple and yellow for my fills to make it consistent. To emulate my typography, the letters and lines are aligned to the left and the header at all times are uppercase sensitive. For my visual language model, I have emulated the use of a map also in indicate a similar piece of data. Also, I have used line treatment similar to that of my visual language model by having a more thicker line to match.
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